On newness and beginnings

It's Monday. It's the beginning of a new week. It's the beginning of a new routine for me and my children at home. This day marks the first day in over a month that Lee is back to work. He finished a job early in December and didn't have anything lined up in anticipation of our wee baby's arrival. Her guess date was December 21st........she came on January 2nd. Which is all well and good because we all came down with the stomach bug over Christmas and I didn't get it until the day before Daphne arrived. Lee's presence was so needed during those weeks. His being home allowed me to rest up and gather my energy while he took on the 3 little ones, cooked most of the meals in a day, kept the wood stove burning, ran errands, and was my buddy and partner through all 5 kids getting sick, was a hero even when he had the bug, and even managed to take care of me for a bit while I was sick (when he was at his sickest). He really has been my hero, my knight in shining armor. He always is, but these past few weeks he really upped the ante.

This is mostly how our house looks these days. I try to keep up with the mess as best I can but at some point during the day I throw in the towel. I am outnumbered by littles. Their messes multiply faster than......dirty diapers. Hey, it's all I got.

Dishes? I'm outnumbered by 8am. Laundry? I do laundry twice a week and I've at least got it caught up and haven't any piles that need tending to (total win seeing as I'm washing for 8, not to mention towels and bedding). Toys? I keep throwing them out and reorganizing but somehow they keep growing in numbers. Dust bunnies? Don't ask. I try not to get overwhelmed, but I do. I'm a HSP and when my home is in a state of disarray, when where ever I look I see mess and disorder, my heart starts to race, I get anxious and feel like I've lost control. Some days, I can just breath and look at my children and remember the saying "A messy home is a happy home." Most days, I don't buy it.

In an effort to relax I've begun to teach myself some new knitting techniques. Last week, I cast on my first knit in the round. I've had scant moments to actually work on it but when I do find the time, my heart is happy and calm. Someone in my family will have a "knit by Mama" cowl one day.

Baking is my other love. This is my elixir for any ailment. I'm doing this as often as  I can; trying new recipes and not coming up with an excuse as to why I shouldn't bake, at least once a day. It's my lifeline and the one thing I do that brings a sense of accomplishment to my day. I realize that if all of my children are happy and fed by days end, that in and of itself is a huge accomplishment. Baking is a personal accomplishment which I feel is just as important to any SAHM. 

Another new beginning is our homeschool rhythm. We haven't had much in the way of routine over the last few months. It's been very exciting to sit with Charlotte and get a sense of where she'd like to go, what her interests are, and how we plan our activities. We're starting small and slow. Not filling a whole morning but choosing a subject or two and going from there. Either way, Charlotte feels great doing what we're doing and is excited for what's in store. Me too :)

The holidays are behind us. Daphne has arrived. Homeschooling has resumed. The newness of the many beginnings in our lives are starting to reach into that place of familiar getting used to. Well, except Daphne. She's still so new and her lovely face and presence here will be new for a while. 

New rhythms are hard to begin. You go through this weird period of not knowing where you are, who you are, what you like, how things are supposed to go/feel. It's transition, like any time in ones life, these things need time. Time is all we have. And thank goodness for that! Now, if only I could be patient.